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07.31.23 5AM We are under the highway overpass and it is getting overcast. I don’t know why we are there, and it has started to pour pour rain and the meadow under the highway-overpass-looking-place has filled up with water. It always had water apparently and it is so normal to me now that there is water there, and that this water leads to a larger body of water. We say oh you know it’s raining really hard but where we are it’s cool and we’re fine here. Before we know it, these metal grates that are embedded in the ground in the concrete under this overpass start rising up out of the concrete as walls to create cells as a response to this storm so we are getting trapped here. As we are getting trapped in this lake, you can tell that there are different compartments getting created around this summer and that summer is created by this grate. I think it was you that said just stay here if we’re all together we will be fine. I definitely did not stay there. It was some bad idea that I was potentially going to escape or find somewhere maybe with more space. I’m not sure what it is because I definitely——I could’ve left but I didn’t actually want to escape. It was like I didn’t know what to do or maybe it was something about I needed to keep moving or I needed to have a “sensitive active role” that wasn’t just accepting my fate even though I was effectively accepting my fate because I could’ve. But I didn’t. So I was choosing to be trapped. In my mind all I’m getting are traps. I’m in this room now and all the grates are either closing in on me from the bar at the bottom or coming in from the top and closing in. I’ve gotten far enough away from our original group that I know you are all together. From where I came. I am getting tired, I see the outside world but at this point I’m too late to escape metal fences. I know it’s on my mind I’m getting chopped. Even then I’m annoyed. Just when the water overpowers the structure and it washes out the grates and we are all washed out into the greater body of water that has replaced the grey matter that we were in previously. It’s a nice clear water and we are a wrap-up in this wreckage. Luckily none of us are really getting hurt like this. We record. I have a moment of thinking I’m trapped in cages. Drama in metal cages, moaning in our inner caged prisons, but this quickly quickly dissipates. It is okay to see you because I am safe in this water. The sun is out again and it’s no longer a situation. The storm is over and we are just having a nice swim. We shed all of the cage water and now we remember that there is a strong element of sex because I’m naked in the water. That, and he asked me is there a time for competition? And I do feel that competition has been imposed upon me by this situation, and he said something like that’s not good. Something about sure— I am bigger than to submit myself to this criteria is to diminish myself, and I think that’s true and I think I mean, obviously, you know that’s me talking to myself that’s me telling myself what I need to hear,

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